Can you succeed in pursuing your heart’s desires and dreams while maintaining a balanced life?

Can you have a strong family dynamic, a successful career, a rich and engaging social life, time alone for reflection while taking care of your health and meeting all your other needs? Is it possible?

The short answer is no. I’ve been looking into this question for some time. I came to this conclusion:

In order to get what you really really want, you have to give up a lot of other things.

How do I know?

I don’t know for sure. But from following the journeys and reading about some of the most successful people, I found out that they had one common thing—complete focus on their passions, ignoring the unimportant aspects of their lives.

I realized that part of feeling overwhelmed is wanting to do so many things and chasing the illusory notion of balance.

A look at three of the most successful people in their fields

I have chosen the following three from different backgrounds and walks of life to demonstrate the point.

Warren Buffett: A personal hero of mine. He is considered the most successful investor of our time, creating wealth by investing in businesses he believed in. He focused on his passion for business and stayed true to who he is.

Danielle Steele: One of the most successful fiction writers in modern times. She has published 123 books so far and raised 9 kids. I haven’t read any of her books but after reading this interview with her, I have the utmost respect for how she lives her life.

Steve Jobs: Personally I’m not a big fan but after reading his biography I couldn’t help but admire his tenacity and relentless pursuit of his vision. He knew how to drive people to bring his vision to reality.

The common two factors of their success

I. Pursuit of passion and the nonnegotiable

The common attributes to success that were not to be given up under any circumstances were: passion and values.

Buffett was consumed by his love for business and valued authenticity. His philosophy and approach reflect his focus on value and simplicity—no matter how successful and rich he became.

Steele had two driving forces in her life: family first and writing second. Everything else faded in the background.

Jobs was obsessively driven by his vision and the marriage of technology and art. He believed in the beauty and elegance of simplicity in design.

II. Things they gave up

Something has got to give. I don’t think when we feel compelled to follow the heart we can sit down and create a balanced approach to everything in our lives.

Balance is achieved through the peace that comes from knowing that you are on your own path and loving it.

I found that our three successful examples gave up the following—with ease.

1. Keeping up with trends and fads

Buffett has been living in the same house in Omaha since the late fifties. He likes to play bridge and enjoys his hamburgers and cherry Coke. He acquires a large stake in solid businesses and ignores the rest. Take a look at his company’s website, no flashy design or fancy images. The focus is on useful information.

Steele has been using the same typewriter she bought for $20 when she first started writing. She uses a computer only to send emails. And that’s it.

Jobs had only one book on his iPad—no games, apps or noise. He’s well known for his timeless black turtle neck and jeans outfit.

In order to focus on their desires and what matters they had to let go of a lot of other things. They trusted that it was enough for them to do what they enjoyed and didn’t care about what they would be missing out on—social events, adventures, or what’s on TV.

2. What others think

My three selected examples marched to the beat of their own drum. In order to succeed they had to stay focused on what felt right to them, not what others thought.

Buffett would stick to what he liked to eat even when he was at the fanciest socialite gatherings in Washington. He didn’t care for French cuisine. He’d rather chew bubble gum than have a cigar at a meeting, unlike most executives.

Steele admits that in order to take care of her family and continue to write, she had to forego having a social life. For at least 20 years, she never had lunch with a friend.

Jobs used to walk barefoot, had no license plate on his car, would throw a tantrum and cry when things didn’t work his way. Some of his actions and attitudes were downright cruel and abusive. But regardless of what we think of him, he was true to himself.

3. Ego driven outcomes

When it comes to success, it’s usually not the ultimate goal. People who pursue their passions feel compelled to do what they do. The end result is a mere reflection of the heart and soul that was poured into the work.

Money was not the goal nor was fame. The financial reward was an added bonus. The fame was a byproduct that did not change much of who they are as individuals.

Buffett did not set out to become one of the wealthiest people on the planet. He is passionate about business and finding companies with great value and leadership.

Steele knew that writing was her calling. She had a few books that didn’t do well, but that didn’t stop her.

Jobs did not obsess over Apple’s stock price. He cared more about the quality and beauty of what his company was creating. Interestingly enough, most of his financial wealth came from his shares in Disney (after it acquired Pixar), not from Apple.

What works for others can work for us. The above two guiding principles can be used by anyone. We can learn from others’ experiences to leverage our own success. I highly encourage you to read about the success of others in fields that interest you and use what you learn as a blueprint for your own success.

It takes guts and faith to focus on what you truly desire and let go of all the noise and distractions.

Are you ready to follow your dreams? And what are you willing to give up?

If you can answer these two questions and follow through with persistent action, you can’t fail.

Photo courtesy of Jhong Dizon

If a while back, someone told me that in less than two months the Tunisians and Egyptians would revolt and prevail—peacefully—against decades of ruthless totalitarian regimes, I would’ve laughed. I would’ve gone further to say that it wouldn’t have made sense even as fiction.

Not in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined how fast things would change.

This is by no means a political commentary on what transpired, but a reflection on the collective human narrative and experience.

One of the most famous poems we had to memorize as children in school was, funny enough, by the Tunisian Poet Abu Al-Qasim Al-Shabi. He wrote these words more than 70 years ago. Here is a translated excerpt.

“If, one day, a people desires to live, then fate will answer their call.

And their night will then begin to fade, and their chains break and fall.

For he who is not embraced by a passion for life will dissipate into thin air,

At least that is what all creation has told me, and what its hidden spirits declare…”

I grew up with the poetry of rebels and textbooks full of what was. To my generation and the ones that followed, what we learned was just words.

Helplessness and cynicism were the norm. It was beyond anyone’s ability to change such dire circumstances. The only change possible was when a mighty country would take action, and if you’re lucky, it won’t be to the detriment of your people. In most cases that didn’t work out too well.

Fast forward to today and it’s a different world. What happened? What changed?

A new reality

People awakened to their true power—the power of choice. And with a world open and connected now more than ever, others embraced every one of the demonstrators with open hearts and fast fingers willing to share every word and image. The truth was way out there.

Regardless of the outcome of people’s uprising in Tunisia and Egypt and the domino effect it’s having in the Arab region, a new reality has set in for many people. We can choose and shape our destiny.

Humanity, through choices of millions of people, became unstoppable. Our consciousness is shifting and adapting to a new world order. One that is determined by people’s choices and connection.

Every single individual of the millions demonstrating made a choice—a brave choice to walk out of his or her home, unarmed and say no to the status quo. The masses are nothing more than the sum of individual choices.

It all started with one, then two … three … a hundred … a thousand … a hundred thousand … a million, amassing to millions—one individual at a time. The soldiers chose not to open fire at civilians. Every choice counted. When one was killed, ten took his place.

People chose to shatter the barriers of fear and overcome apathy. Each person decided to show up and stick around. And all those people being there is what made history. All the threats in the world cannot stop the true will of the human spirit.

When we realize we always have choice, we take responsibility for our decisions. This realization empowers us to change direction if or when we choose to. And that is the root of our power.

The myth of leadership

If you’d ask any autocrat, he or she would say people need to be governed and shown the way. I say this is bunk.

People don’t need someone to lead them so they can blindly follow. People have proven time and again that they can self-govern better than any government. This becomes more apparent in times of crisis when individuals choose to take supportive action of their community and reach out, by their own choice.

Organic movements like the ones we witnessed in Tunisia and Egypt were not born in think tanks, nor instigated by the opposition elite. They started by people, like you and me, reclaiming their birthright—to be free to choose.

No one lead such movements and not a single person can take credit for starting them. But every individual who participated, who wrote, who shared, who supported can take credit for their part. Human evolution is a collective experience that cannot be attributed to certain ideologies or a few individuals who call themselves leaders.

A paradigm shift

People adopt a message or march for causes that resonate with them. They stand up for what inspires them.

Inspiration is what makes the heart sing and the soul weep. Inspiration doesn’t come from long-range missiles or fighter jets. It doesn’t come from palaces or governments.

True and meaningful change comes from within—by choice. It comes from you and me and every other human being on this planet. Every one counts, no one is unimportant. We are what changes the world, one choice at a time.

True change doesn’t come from subjugating others, but from inspiring them. To inspire others is to focus only on your own actions and choices and allow others to do the same.

We are always making choices, sometimes we make the wrong ones. And that’s okay. We can learn from our mistakes and change direction without blame or victimhood.

We may not be able to choose how we feel, but most definitely, we can choose how we act, in spite of how we feel. We can overcome and embrace the truth of our humanity and our shared aspirations to be free and live in peace and harmony with life.

We all have the greatest super power in the world, the power that sparks change, transforms and inspires—the power to choose.

Please share on twitter or facebook. Thanks my friends. I appreciate you.

Do you view life as one big competition and winning as the ultimate achievement?

We all have been programmed to want to win. And for us to win, someone else has to lose. We spend a large part of our lives competing, if not with others, with ourselves. Even when we speak of teamwork, it is about our team beating another.

Competitive living can be exhausting and quite demoralizing to the losing party. This collective way of living is rooted in scarcity and lack. We have to get something before someone else beats us to it. Fearful thinking can lead to unethical behavior, hasty decisions and ineffectual, if not disastrous, results.

Is there an alternative to competitive living?

There is always an alternative. Instead of competitive thinking why not think in creative and collaborative ways?

You might ask: how can you collaborate with your competitors? My answer would be why do you consider anyone a competitor? What if you viewed everyone as a co-creator? You are creating your life and everyone else is doing the same—creating their own.

Is it possible? Yes it is. Look at how bloggers are leading the way.

Bloggers’ collaborative revolution

I thought I knew a lot about bloggers and blogging—little did I know. My learning started after creating this blog and connecting with bloggers on a daily basis. I am not talking about giant corporate blogs. I’m talking about individuals—like you and me. Every blog is the creative child of one individual, which makes it exceedingly personal.

How are bloggers supporting each other? Here are a few ways that I have experienced in my journey so far.

Comments

If you read blogs on a regular basis, you will notice that most of the commenters are bloggers. You might think they are doing it to gain exposure. This is partially true in case of very large blogs. But for the most part it is to network and support each other’s work—to be part of a larger conversation.

Writing about other bloggers

Bloggers link to each other’s work and expand on articles with their own views. They also interview each other and share their success stories with their readers. They aim to be of help to their readers and fellow bloggers at the same time.

Promoting others on social networking sites

Bloggers tweet and bookmark other bloggers’ posts and ideas. They spread the message by sharing it with a larger audience.

Guest posts

It is common practice for bloggers to guest post on other blogs. They write original content geared towards the readers of the host blog. This form of idea exchange gives the guest poster exposure to a new audience and provides readers of a host with fresh material.

Taking it to a whole new level: 1+1 = 3

This form of collaboration capitalizes on the success of each blogger and raises it to a completely new level by combining the talents to create something more powerful. Here are two examples.

1. The Daily Brainstorm—massive blogazine

The Daily Brainstorm is a an aggregator site/online magazine that showcases quality articles from more than 80 contributors and guest posters—ranging from the very famous and experienced to the up and coming writers.

The power of the collective helps each individual blogger gain exposure and experience. The reader finds many useful and interesting articles on various topics and by different authors in one place. Please check it out and subscribe. You won’t regret it.

2. The A-List Blogging Bootcamps & Club—joint and collaborative business ventures

This venture is an example of collaboration in the business of blogging. It was started by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits and Mary Jaksch of Good Life Zen. They offer training programs as well as a membership site where bloggers can network and help each other out.

Being a member of the A-List Blogging Club I can attest to this powerhouse alliance. If you’re interested in joining the revolution by starting your own blog or being part of a supportive community, the A-list Blogger Club is the place to be. Click here for more info.

Bloggers are a unique breed of creatives. Every blogger is a leader with a unique voice and a cheerleader supporting other bloggers—his or her credo is: when you empower others, you empower yourself.

Now imagine a world where people from all walks of life supported and inspired the best in others—a world of abundance, beauty and life to all.

The creative collaborative revolution is not exclusive to blogging. You can start in any field.  All it takes is the willingness to work with others, inspire and be inspired.

Viva la revolution!

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” – Mary Kay Ash

A couple of months ago we decided to buy a new car. Our car was 14 years old and we felt it was the right time. We looked online then went and visited a dealership and got the expected car salesman’s treatment. After more research we decided to go check out another local dealership that offered a good incentive for cleaner cars.

Within a few minutes of looking around, a smiling woman came and greeted us. She didn’t ask what car we were looking for but wanted to know about us and how we decided to check out Hyundai. Her name is Cindy. She speaks English with a heavy accent. We learned from her that she arrived in Vancouver a couple of years ago. She wanted to move to give her daughter a chance to have a more relaxed and fun future.

Cindy came as a single mother with a child and didn’t know anyone in the city. She is working as a car salesperson, rarely the profession for a woman. Cindy doesn’t know much about cars or finances. But she loves people and it shows.

We talked for a bit and told her what vehicles we were interested in. She showed us the models and then suggested we go for a test drive. She didn’t come with us.

We ended up buying the more expensive car (still in the compact category). We loved driving it. Cindy didn’t have to do any hard selling. All she had to do was give us a chance to choose and pay attention to what we were looking for.

When it came to the paperwork Cindy wasn’t of much help. But no one cared. She got the manager to do that stuff and made sure that we were happy with the deal we got.

That day we made the decision, paid a down payment and set a date for picking up the car.

When we went to pick up the car and complete the gazillion documents that need to be signed and copied, Cindy was there. She talked with us and made sure we were taken care of. And we were!

Before leaving, Cindy gave both of us, and a friend who came with us, souvenirs she brought with her from her last trip home. She insisted that we take something. A week later, she called to check if everything was ok with the car and to offer us a complimentary scratch pen for the new car.

We went again to see Cindy and she was warm and welcoming. We got our pen and talked with her for a bit. We asked if we could take a picture with her and she enthusiastically agreed. She got the receptionist to take our picture. Everyone was smiling. Cindy gave us the biggest smile and walked to the door with us as we were leaving.

I’m writing this with a big smile on my face. Cindy has no super powers or magical selling techniques. She is a genuine human being who really enjoys other people and wants to be of service. The lasting impression she left is: the key to success as a sales person is to genuinely care about people and understand what they want, everything else is a consequence.

To your success!

Image by Mathieu Struck

Wednesday is usually our day to see our friends. We meet for lunch or coffee, depending on the mood and time of the collective. We met at a pub and spent a couple of hours eating and chatting.

I laugh more on Wednesdays than any other day of the week. Our friends are of various backgrounds, age, experience and skills. Yet well all share the bond of friendship.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
- Anais Nin

We have a common interest in being good friends. I know that my life is richer, more interesting and more meaningful because of the people I’m proud to call my friends. Each one of them will be there for us, if we ever need help. And I’m sure they know we are there for them. It is an effortless connection. This is when you know that it is the real deal. No one is trying too hard or attempting to force a bond. It just happens naturally over time.

Every human connection can be tested in rough times and friendships are no exception. But the challenges can be a true testament to how strong the relationship is. The true measure of a good friend is someone who is willing to put up with our own shortcomings but point them out to us at the same time. We grow and get closer to our true essence with the help of friends.

To all my friends: thank you for being in our lives, thank you for supporting us and more importantly for allowing us to be and grow. We love you.

“When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.”
- George Washington Carver

Today was another brilliant day. It is incredible how much a good night sleep can improve one’s mood. I woke up rested and relaxed. The sunny skies and warmth were energizing and uplifting.

The star of everyday life
One of the highlights of today was a visit to Safeway. We were lucky to be checked out by Shirley. The mere thought of her makes me smile. Shirley is a cashier in her sixties. She has been working at Safeway for decades. She has managed to memorize every customer’s name who frequents the store. She greets you with a smile and says: how are you today Ms. or Mr. so and so.

I have yet to see someone who passes by Shirley and doesn’t smile. She is not a celebrity admired by millions. But she is definitely a star that brightens the skies of so many people who are lucky enough to meet her. I absolutely love this woman. Maybe one day I will have the guts to ask Shirley if I can take her picture. If I do, I will post it here.

It maybe a cliché that it’s not the WHAT, it’s the HOW; but it is a very powerful one. Shirley doesn’t look at her job as unimportant and tedious. She gets a chance to interact with people and does her utmost to be the best without taking herself too seriously. She is always smiling and joking (an added bonus).

Can I be a Shirley? Can you? I think we all can if we have the desire to try.

Money matters
Every morning I spend about an hour reading part of SECURITY ANALYSIS. It is a true classic when it comes to investing. The book is huge but worth every minute. The advice is timeless and more relevant today than ever. The more I read, the better I feel about the challenges of the stock market.

Benjamin Graham (one of the authors of the book) is the mentor of the one and only Warren Buffett. Enough said!

The most appealing thing about Buffett is not his wealth, but his passion and focus on what he loves the most. Are you doing what you’re passionate about?