“Life’s like a play; it’s not the length but the excellence of the acting that matters.” ~Seneca

Excellence is a scarce commodity. It’s becoming harder to find in our so called efficient, fast paced, plastic laden society. And because it’s rare, it’s highly rewarded when found.

We instinctively have an appreciation for the beauty that comes from genuine and skilled effort, even by today’s standards.

The thing that we fail to see about excellence is that it’s scarce by choice—the cumulative choice of the masses to just get by with half assed effort and mediocre results.

We can’t change how everyone acts on this planet. But we can choose to act differently, to become excellent at what we do.

Excellence comes from excel—to do extremely well, to be exceptionally good at or proficient in an activity or subject.

Excellence is:

Focused: You can’t be excellent in everything all of a sudden. You will need to focus your effort on one thing at a time.

Doable: You can become the best you can be if you decide to do so.

Meaningful: What you do has to mean something to you in order to pursue a higher level of proficiency.

Intuitive: You know in your heart what you want to be really good at.

Action: You can’t become good at anything without action, and lots of it.

Excellence brings ease and beauty to whatever you do. It inspires and transforms. The road to success is paved with excellence.

Excellence is not:

Perfect: It is your best at any given moment, which means it changes as you grow.

A destination: You don’t get to excellence. You become excellent. It is a way of life—a way of being—and not a goal.

A three step process to becoming excellent

The three steps below are quite simple but not easy. Take your time and move through the process slowly.

1- Do the best you can.

Doing the best you can means you don’t do things begrudgingly, rushing through one thing so you can jump to the next thing. It means focusing your energy with ease into the action you’re taking without the need for validation or reward.

You get to define your own best and work with it.

2- Make it a habit. Keep doing the best you can.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~Aristotle

Habits are born from doing the same thing over and over. If you do your best every time you do something, you cannot fail. The action becomes part of who you are.

The biggest challenge is to keep going when you feel discouraged and you doubt your abilities. If you keep going, you will get better and better, till you become the best you can be—you master the action.

It is in this step that you transform your talent into a valuable skill that is highly rewarded and appreciated.

3- Do the best you can in everything you do.

Work with the motto: the way you do anything is the way you do everything. Make excellence the rule and not the exception.

You can choose one thing to be excellent at. As time goes by make a conscious choice to be excellent at everything you do.

This doesn’t mean overwhelming yourself and trying to be perfect. On the contrary, you choose a few things to do and do them really well. You own a few excellent items. You work on a few projects and do your best.

This turns excellence into a way of life. You become an excellent parent, spouse, cook, worker, student and so on.

Becoming excellent uplifts your soul to higher elevations of being. The ultimate outcome anyone of us can hope for in this life is to be the best we can be. And excellence is the best way to achieve that.

“Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.”

The other day while watching TV I heard this expression.

A good life is the best revenge.

It got me thinking, what is a good life? What makes life good or bad? Is there such a thing as a bad life?

Is a good life a meaningful life? Is a good life one that offers value to others and society?

I believe every life has inherent meaning and value. The fact that someone is alive has all the meaning and value—even if we fail to see it sometimes.

A good life is something that extends beyond the basics. It’s what distinguishes you from me and others. It’s personal and unique.

So is it defined by personal success and achievement?

What is success in this case? Is it having a high powered career? Fame? Money? A healthy well toned body? A large following of fans? Winning a prize of some sort?

I don’t think so. All these things can be a double edged sword—causing as much suffering as pleasure.

After contemplating for a while (and like most things in life, my views are subjective), I came to this conclusion.

A good life is a life that is made up of a lot of good moments. And the good moments are the result of certain choices we make and actions we take.

The good life code

The following three guidelines will ensure you have lots of good moments.

Living authentically and truthfully

You live honestly and in harmony with your truth. What you say or do reflects who you are.

You live from the heart and soul. You follow your joy, igniting your passion for life. You live on purpose—your purpose and your life, not someone else’s view of what your life should be.

It’s about doing what you love for the sake of doing it. The work and experience are the reward. Material or emotional compensation is the icing on the cake. This is something you love to do no matter what.

When you’re authentic, you open up to life. You restore your sense of wonder. You awaken the fun and adventurous kid within.

We all have genetic markers that define our physical traits. I believe we have a cosmic marker that identifies our nonphysical traits.

A good life is one where you live by your cosmic marker—your one of a kind being.

Meaningful connections and relationships

We all want to love and be loved. We want to have a genuine connection with the people around us.

A good life means you have solid relationships based on love, trust and mutual respect. It’s the kind of relationship that allows you to be who you are.

That doesn’t mean there is no dysfunction.

A true connection is one that transcends dysfunction. It is one that: allows for mistakes, confronts, forgives and embraces. It is strong enough to withstand the turbulence of our dark side.

Your close relationships are the ones you have without motives or pretense. They are with the people who will truly miss you when you’re gone. They will feel the void you leave behind—and they are never the same because of you. Your memory lives through them.

Such relationships are precious because they’re rare. We’re lucky if we have a handful of them. A meaningful connection enriches your life beyond measure.

A life of ease

I define ease as the opposite of struggle. It is when you’re just rolling with life, minding your business.

To be at ease doesn’t mean that you won’t experience pain—it’s humanly impossible. It means that you allow yourself to feel the pain, and for the pain to serve its purpose. You lick your wounds and give yourself time to heal.

You don’t resist and suffer needlessly. You actively surrender to life. You grow from your pain as much as you do from success. You don’t need to feel bad for yourself, resent others or feel jealous.

You don’t waste your energy worrying about what’s outside of your control, what others are thinking, saying, doing or not doing.  You allow others to stay on their path and you stay on yours. You trust life as it is.

When you need to take a stand, you do it because it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s the popular thing to do. You do it without fanfare or judgment. You’re in your zone!

Nothing is more contagious than a person at ease. You can sense it a mile away and it rubs off on you pretty quickly.

To sum up

A life of ease, doing what you want when you want and having a blast with the people you love the most. And when things go wrong, you embrace your humanity, do what you can, lean on the people you love and let the rest go.

This is the good life—a life with a strong mental hammock, tied to deep rooted relationship trees and enriched by a clear emotional blue sky.

A good life is not the best revenge but the greatest inspiration.

“To live one’s own life is still the best way of life, always was, and always will be.” ~ Henry Miller

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” ~ Guillaume Apolinaire

Do you believe in your ability to fly? More importantly, are you flying? Or are you stuck?

One of the biggest (if not the biggest) reasons for not living your dreams and realizing your potential is fear.

Fear is a basic and primitive emotion. It can be a protective friend alerting us so we can respond to physical danger.

But it can be our biggest nightmare stopping us in our tracks—trapped and unable to take meaningful action towards our desires. This is the type of fear we need to face so we can break the status quo cycle and move in a new direction.

The first step in any change is to accept where we are. In this case, identifying what we’re afraid of. Then doing something about it.

My friend Tess Marshall released a new course about fear. Today I want to share with you some of my thoughts and experiences about fear. I also did an interview with Tess about her new program Take Your Fear and Shove It. I hope you find the information useful.

A holistic view of fear

Personally, I don’t think we need to crush or launch war on fear. What we need is to accept where we are. We need to look within to understand how our fears emerged and how we can move through them.

Here are the main points I want to highlight about fear.

Fear is not necessarily an isolated emotion.

Sometimes fear is just that. We feel scared of something and we don’t know why. When I was a kid I had a paralyzing fear of cats. I can’t tell you why I had this fear.

But most fears are related to other emotions and negative experiences that our mind amplifies to fear.

For example, fear of rejection can stem from an incident (or incidents) when someone said no to you. You might’ve projected that into a blank statement that I’m not good enough. Then found evidence (we  find what we’re looking for) of that statement till it became a deep rooted belief.

Also you might’ve developed resentment for the person who said no to you. The resentment is stronger when the person has significant presence in your life like a parent, a sibling, or a friend.

I experienced this when I was around 10 years old. My father said no to me more than a few times. For the longest time I believed that I’m not worthy.

One can say some fears (failure, success, abandonment …etc.) come in a package of emotions and limiting beliefs. It’s important to dig and find out as much as we can about all the emotions and beliefs in the package.

Fear is costly.

As much as our mind tries to justify our fear, we know fair well that we miss out on opportunities of growth because of fear. The cost of opportunities can be financial, physical or social.

But the highest costs are internal: a sense of peace, wellbeing and faith in our own abilities and worth.

Reality is kinder than our imagined fears.

Fear is not subtle. It amplifies a negative outcome to the nth degree. Fear does rob you of believing in your abilities. Fear is like a fire that consumes anything good in your life and emits more insecurities and reasons to be afraid.

But when we step out of fear and face the situation in real life, it usually isn’t as bad as we thought. We manage better than we ever imagined.

To face my fear of cats, my mother got a cat and that was that. I freaked out for a bit, then got used to it—way easier than my fearful thoughts.

Action is the most effective tool to face fears.

You can’t put your fears and abilities to the test until you do something—anything.

My fear of cats was put to test after living with a cat.

Small changes are all you need.

It’s a misconception that when we face fear, we need to force ourselves to take big action steps, jumping into the abyss of the new and unfamiliar.

While it’s possible to take a giant step to handle your fears, you can take small steps and get effective results. I prefer this approach because it doesn’t rattle our protective lizard brain—i.e. less resistance and excuses.

For example to deal with the fear of rejection, I formed new friendships. I asked for help from others and I offered to help others. Is my fear completely gone? No, but I’m getting there, step by step.

How to be bold and shine bright by overcoming your fears

The course Take This Fear and Shove It is quite comprehensive and can be a great resource to deal with your fears, in a gradual step by step process.

It covers a wide range of topics in the following 8 modules.

1. Understanding Fear
2. Four Methods to Dissolve Fear
3. You Are Stronger than Your Fear
4. Manage Your Fear
5. When Bad Things Happen
6. Step Into Your Power
7. The Fearless Life
8. Living Love in a Culture of Fear

After going through the course material I had the following conversation with Tess.

You write about fearless living on your blog. Offering a detailed course on fear is a natural progression to the evolution of your message. What inspired you to have a platform dedicated to the message of overcoming fear and living boldly?

I think people are more fearful than ever due to our economic times. It’s so easy to fall into negative expectations for our future. If we can work through our fears, we can step up to the plate and offer the world our gifts and talents. That’s a better use of our energy.

The ones who play big and walk boldly into the future are going to be a big part of creating the solutions everyone is looking for. I want to be a part of creating a better way.

What’s the most important aspect of fear that you want to bring to our attention?

That fear is an illusion. We hold back because we want to be safe, but there is no such thing as safety. Who knows what will happen in the next moment, hour, or day? Nobody.

We only have to examine our thoughts, look for the story that we’re telling ourselves. Then we can change our story. We can train our minds to expect the best.

Your course is different from anything I have seen. It goes beyond understanding and dissolving fear. It extends to other areas of human potential and happiness. Why did you add these parts and how do they relate to fear?

Thank you! I think it comes from my work as a therapist and my own personal growth. When we spend our time living in fear, anxiety, and doubt it’s impossible to be happy. When we are coming from a state of love, happiness, and joy it’s impossible to be afraid.

Every moment we make a choice on how we are going to be. And we get it wrong, the beauty of life is that we can choose again, as many times as we want.

I’m far from perfect. Want to hear something funny? Hubs has been proofreading all my guest posts. When I get myself worked up over nonsense he says, “I was just reading about that somewhere—guess where. Then he gives me my own advice back! We’ve really had fun with it!

When you give the people around you permission to hold you accountable in a gentle way it can work wonders for your relationships.

How can living in the present moment dissipate fearful thoughts?

I think it’s very difficult to be fearful in the present moment. Think about how strangers help others in dangerous situations. In the present moment they don’t stand around being afraid. They will jump in freezing water to save a drowning man.

You speak a lot about love and kindness in the course material. You actually describe other emotions as derivatives of either love or fear. How can love help us in dealing with fear and moving past it?

This is an example…When I’m in a state of fear it’s easy for me to get in my adult children’s business. In a fearful state I think I know what’s right for them.

Wrong! At that point I can catch myself and realize I don’t know what’s right for myself half of the time, how can I possibly know what’s right from them? So instead of saying anything, I can stay in my own business in my own backyard! That’s love!

Who is this course for and what do you hope the readers will gain from going through it?

This course is for anyone who is ready to replace fear, rejection, envy etc. with more joy and happiness. We have one precious life. I want to fill mine with fun and wild adventure. Anyone who wants the same would be wise to get this course.

What is the one action that we can take today to move forward and be bolder?

Buy the course Take Your Fear and Shove It! And while you’re working through it don’t forget to breathe.

I’m very grateful to Tess for taking the time to answer my questions. She walks the talk and generously shares her experiences and knowledge.

I hope you feel motivated to face your fears. The most important thing to start with is to do something.

If you are ready to do something about fear and live more boldly, check out Tess Marshall’s new course, Take Your Fear and Shove It!

 “The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.”  ~ Barbara De Angelis

It’s time for you to dance—your most special and joyous dance—free and unencumbered by fear and doubt.

Photo courtesy of Or Hiltch

How much time do you consciously talk to yourself? And what kind of talk is it?

Note the emphasis on consciously. We talk to ourselves all the time—most of the talk is unconscious and negative.

They say if you talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you won’t have any friends.

So it’s very advantageous to stop this ongoing mindless stream and choose to do things differently—to have an honest conversation with ourselves.

Why have a conversation with yourself

Taking the time to deliberately talk to yourself can awaken you and transform the way you think and view your outer self. This is what would happen.

1. Become aware of your thoughts

Taking the time to talk to yourself will cause you to stop and pay attention to your inner dialogue.

The moment you pay attention to anything, your thinking shifts. You bring the process to your conscious mind.

2. Question and change the pattern

When you pay attention, you realize that some of the stuff that nags in the background of your mind is ridiculous or doesn’t apply anymore.

You will notice the main themes of thoughts that keep coming back. The more you notice a thought the less it will persist. The pattern then starts to change.

3. Connect to the truth and gain clarity

When you question what you say to yourself, you’ll  find other ways of looking at things. You can then neutralize the negativity by finding what contradicts it.

The conversation will also deepen your connection with your most inner truth by reinforcing the positives. You’ll gain clarity about how you view yourself and what’s working in your life.

How to have a conversation with yourself

There are no set rules when it comes to talking to yourself. The most important thing is to have the desire to do it and to sit down and do it.

Reflect on your life so far. It’s not about what you did yesterday. Think of the lasting impressions up to this point.

Interview yourself

Imagine that you’re interviewing yourself and you want to know about what’s working (or not working) in your life.

Consider the following questions:

• What were the most enjoyable and fun moments?
• What were the most painful experiences you had? How did you overcome or cope with them?
• What are your biggest achievements or the things you’re most proud of?
• What are your biggest mistakes and failures? How did you endure? What did you learn?
• What are your best qualities (the things you like about yourself and the things others like about you)?
• What are your weaknesses (things you don’t like about yourself or others have pointed out to you)?
• What are you craving right now in terms of emotions, experiences and challenges?
• What would make you more fulfilled, happy and satisfied?
• What are the things that scare you?
• Are your fears blocking you from living your highest joy?

Start with one or more of the above questions. Think and reflect deeply on your answers. You might end up with new questions. Answer them or write them down so you can think about them in your next interview.

Talk or write

You can imagine the interview in your head and talk to yourself silently. Or you can speak out loud if you’re alone.

You can also write your thoughts down and stop every now and then to think about what you wrote.

Refresh your memory

We tend to remember more of the bad than the good when we’re thinking about our experiences.

Go through your pictures or journals to refresh your memory. Talk to your family and friends about the things you don’t remember.

One thing you will notice: You’ve been through a lot and have accomplished more than you can remember.

Don’t judge

The process of self reflection is intended to give you insight about the inner workings of your mind and the ongoing dialogue. If you start judging yourself for your views of yourself and others, stop.

Remember you are the interviewer. Step outside of yourself.

Allow the darkness of past mistakes and regrets to fade into the light of your awareness.

Make it sacred

This is your time. Own it. Give yourself at least an hour of quiet time with no distractions. If you can’t have an hour, split the conversation into shorter parts.

Start with the intention of being truthful. Close with gratitude and the desire to live more from your highest good.

What’s next?

What to do next is up to you.

Do more of what makes you happy and fulfilled. Deal with anything that bugs you. This is your journey to inner freedom. Have as many conversations as you need.

Start with healing your wounds. Work on accepting your mistakes and moving forward. Ask for forgiveness, if you need to, and forgive others.

Each time you reflect on your life you’ll have a negative or positive charge. The main purpose of this exercise is to awaken you to the positives and allow you to determine the negatives by bringing them into your field of awareness so you can do something about them.

Happy discovery. What you will find is that you are amazing!

The year is almost over—can’t believe it passed so fast. Time flies when you’re having a fun and rewarding experience. And with the end comes a new beginning.

Stepping back is a good way to reflect, gain insight from our experiences and then move forward to what’s next—letting go and starting afresh.

We can of course do this any day or moment. We don’t have to wait till year-end to ponder and learn. The collective pause at the end of the year, however, can be a compelling reason for us to stop and take stock.

Let’s do this with the understanding that we can choose a new start any time.

I’m going to share with you what transpired during the year and what it means to you. Let’s start with promises that I kept and didn’t keep.

Looking back

What I promised at the end of last year was the following:

1. Content. I will focus on content that I hope can inspire you in the smallest of ways to accept and appreciate your experience and truth in this moment.

2. Free report or eBook. This is the least I can do to say thank you for your continued support.

3. Meaningful interaction with you through social media.

I managed to the best of my abilities to keep two of my promises.

I wrote articles from the heart, with the intent of helping in any way I can. Initially I wanted to write more than one article a week but realized that I couldn’t do it while maintaining focus, depth and more importantly having fun while doing it. I managed to write four articles each month at a relaxed pace.

I’ve been very fortunate to have private conversations with many of you. The interactions were inspiring and motivated me to keep going. The best reward for sharing an idea or experience is to know that it affected someone else. It enhances our interactions and deepens our connection.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. I’m very grateful.

The promise that fell by the wayside was writing an eBook or report. I have failed to deliver though it was always nagging at me.

Why did I break my promise?

I have mentioned at least a couple of times my desire to write an eBook. Unfortunately that didn’t materialize and I have no one to blame but myself.

My reasons are by no means an excuse for not delivering on my promise. While none of them is intentional, this is the case most of the time when it comes to promises—to ourselves and others—that we don’t keep.

Confusion in priorities: as much as I wanted to write a book, it obviously wasn’t the most important thing to me. I did not make the time, i.e. give up something else, to make it happen.

Unclear direction: I did not have specific topics or ideas that I wanted to explore in depth as a basis for a book. This resulted in feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated to get started.

Not only did I need a topic, but also I needed measurable steps to deliver (e.g. writing frequency, an outline, number of chapters and words). The measurable steps would not be set in stone, but they would be very effective in maintaining momentum and making progress..

No sense of urgency or a specific deadline: the only thing that would’ve gotten me to face the setbacks at the start is a dose of good old willpower to meet a deadline. Sometimes it’s the only thing to get us started and keeps us going.

As you can see the above three reasons can create a vicious cycle that continues to feed itself unless it’s consciously broken.

How did the theme “less is more” work out?

At the beginning of this year I wrote about themes and how they can guide you during the year. My theme was less is more.

Overall I stuck to my theme. The main areas where I felt visible results were:

• Wrote less articles but with more focus and depth. The readership grew slowly but surely.
• Used social media (Facebook and Twitter) less and had more meaningful interactions.
• Reduced my email volume by 90% from the prior year.
• Spent less time online and more time doing what matters—meditated, exercised, journaled daily, started learning new skills and read more books.
• Cut down on material possessions and new purchases. This is still a work in progress. I have more stuff to give away or sell.

The main area where I fell short personally is music. This is something I need to show up for in the upcoming year.

Hope this year was kind to you and your loved ones. Please take the time to reflect on your journey this year and how you have grown from it.

Looking forward

They say the past cannot be used to predict the future. But we sure can use what we experienced as a guideline for what we’d like to do next.

My new theme for the year reflects a desire to work on what I started or promised in the past.

New theme: Relentless focus

I want to focus on a few projects that mean something to me and eliminate all the noise. Most of the projects I’m referring to are things I’ve started but didn’t complete.

My unrelenting promise to you

I will produce an eBook or report no later than May 17 come hell or high water.

I will continue to write weekly articles and interact with you at the same pace. I feel you have a lot on your plate and if you’re kind enough to give me your attention each week for a few moments I want to make sure that what you read is worth your time and you have ample time to use some of the ideas in your life.

If you have a certain subject that you want me to write about, or include in the book, I’d love to hear from you.

Personally

On a personal level I would like to complete an accelerated learning program. And leaving the most challenging for last: music. This desire is very dear to my heart but is the most intimidating. I am not going to talk about it unless I show meaningful progress that I can share with you.

That is it. These are my main three targets for the upcoming year along with maintaining my daily routine activities and work.

Please take some time and think about what the upcoming year is going to be for you. Pick a word or theme. It doesn’t matter as long as you have a general sense of direction for your year.

Look at your life and determine the areas where you’d like to grow. And keep one thing in mind: it is your journey. You set your compass and sail in the direction that suits you and no one else.

Thank you for your continued support and encouragement. It has been a pleasure and a privilege sharing this space with you. I wish you a peaceful and prosperous new year.

With much love and appreciation.

In the previous article we talked about the importance of gratitude and started with the first 15 days of our adventure.

Today the journey continues with another 15 ideas of things we can be grateful for. Choose the ones that resonate with you and replace others with your own. The most important thing is to focus on something to be grateful for every day. Here’s the next 15 days.

16. Work/career

Choose to focus today on the work you do and what values you derive from it. If you think you don’t like your job, think of things that you like—the pay, supporting your family, your coworkers, or getting a chance to leave the house and see other people.

Reflect on all the jobs you’ve had and career choices you’ve made so far. What did you learn from each experience? How did you change and grow?

17. People in your life

We are social animals and our lives are intertwined with others in so many ways.

Who are the important people in your life right now? Why are they important? How do you feel about them? What positive impact do they have on you?

18. People who moved on

Life is in constant motion and our social environment keeps changing with it.

Reflect back on the people who were part of your life at one point and either passed on or the relationship ended for whatever reason.

People like your teachers, school buddies, previous coworkers, past romantic relationships, family members, and friends. What did you learn from the relationship? Who inspired you and how? If you were to see this person again and can only speak to them in positive terms, what would you say?

19. People who influenced you

These are the people and role models that you may have met (or not). Maybe you saw a story on Oprah, or read a book or a biography and felt inspired.

What are the things you’re thankful for from your role models and inspiring individuals?

20. Art and entertainment

What are the TV shows that you watch? What are the things you enjoy about them? What movies are you grateful for? How did they affect you?

Think of sports, theater, paintings, or other works of art that bring you joy and you’re thankful for.

21. Books and knowledge

What books have influenced you? What stories resonated with you?

What are the things you learned that changed your life? How did you learn them?

22. Music and sound

Listen to your favorite artist and feel the creative energy behind their work. What do you feel? Reflect on how their music elevates you.

What sounds around are you thankful for—birds chirping, a child laughing, someone drumming, wood crackling in a fireplace, typing on your keyboard?

23. Animals and pets

Give thanks today for all the pets you have or had in the past. We can learn so much from animals and how they live their life, moment by moment, doing their thing without judgment or complaints.

What lessons did you learn from your pets? Do you have any fond memories of times you spent playing with a pet?

24. Nature

Today notice every thing around you that’s part of life, the soil, trees, shrubs, grass, the clouds, the color of the sky, the weather.

Reflect on all the things we extract from earth—oil, metals & minerals and plants.

25. Services

Pay close attention to all the services that you use on a daily basis. When you start your shower, think of all the plumbing and work that is done to get you hot water and to drain the water that you use. Think of what it takes to dispose of all the waste we produce.

And don’t forget to appreciate the building structures, the roads, and the power and cable lines. How much planning and hard work it took to create the entire infrastructure that we use every day.

26. Science and technology

Our knowledge of the planet, ourselves and life around us has grown exponentially. Consider the advent of printing, radio, television, the telephone, satellite and the internet.

We are connected today because of all the advances in technology.  Look at the computer screen, mobile phone or tablet that you’re reading this article on and think of all the resources required to provide you with the equipment, power and communication services.

27. Medicine and healing

We are so fortunate to live in times where we have options. We can go to the doctor and get treatment or choose a naturopathic approach. The quality of life has improved tremendously because of the giant leap in vaccines and  medicine. We have been able to eradicate diseases that killed millions in the past.

Reflect today on how you benefit from such advances compared to our ancestors.

28. The universe

We live on a planet that is situated at the perfect distance from the sun—our star and main source of energy. The moon serves its purpose in climate and tide control seamlessly. How lucky are we to be supported by 4.5 billion years of expansion and evolution. Our existence is the miracle of all miracles. So let’s celebrate it today.

Look at the heavens. Give thanks to the moon, the sun, the stars and all the invisible energy and forces that run in the background making life as we know it possible.

29. Beauty

As we get closer to the end of our journey, let’s start looking into the truth behind every creation and expression around us. When we truly look, we see beauty at its utmost profound level.

When you look deep, you will see everything as a work of art. Your kitchen tiles, the design or print on your bed sheets, the shape of a light bulb, your computer or cell phone, the fabric on a chair, the thread on a tire. Expand your awareness today and see the exquisite in everything.

30. Love and connection

Love is what life is made from; it’s at the core of our being. Give thanks for all the people and all the things you love in your life. Appreciate the people who love you the way you are and are there to support you.

Celebrate love today from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. You will find plenty of it all around you.

What’s next

Focusing on what’s good when things are going smoothly is easy. It’s much harder to be grateful in the midst of rocky and challenging times. No matter how bad things seem, there is always something to be grateful for. The mind shift happens when you keep looking for the goodness in everyday life experiences.

After 30 days of focused gratitude I recommend you keep a journal (paper, or computer, doesn’t matter). In your journal write about two things:

I. Your success for the day

Write about what you got done today. Did you make it to work or a meeting on time? Did you brush your teeth? Did you empty the dishwasher?

There is no small success.  You don’t have to be detailed; just create a simple list. Try to list at least 5 to 10 things per day. For example:

1. Woke up at 6
2. Meditated
3. Showered
4. Took the dog for a walk
5. Had lunch with a friend
6. Wrote in journal
7. Published blog post
8. Paid bills
9. Completed ABC report
10. Worked out for 10 minutes

II. Things you’re grateful for

Write five things each day that you’re grateful for. This can include health, money, family, friends, a fresh cup of coffee, the washing machine. Come up with five things. The next day find five different things to be thankful for.

The gratitude habit

As you go about your day, notice anything that can make it to your list of success and gratitude. Write it down as soon as you can. Sometimes by the end of the day you just need to reflect on your list.

The whole process of journaling about success and what you’re grateful for is simple and won’t take you more than 10 minutes. However, it will transform your life. You will shift from focusing on what went wrong in your day to what went right. Do this for a whole year and see what happens.

Together we can create a gratitude movement. If we spend just a few minutes every day reflecting on what’s working in our lives we will change our world—one thought and emotion at a time.

Let’s use Meister Eckhart’s infamous saying as a mantra to enforce the habit of gratitude.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.

This is the perfect time of the year to express our gratitude for all the gifts we’ve been fortunate enough to receive in this life.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward

We all have experienced happiness and sadness, pain and pleasure, well being and illness, gain and loss and all sorts of ups and downs. Let’s stop and reflect on our experiences with gratefulness and appreciation.

The power of gratitude

Gratitude is the best networking approach that keeps you in close contact with abundance.

Every time you express deep and profound gratitude, you align yourself with life. You become closer to the limitless creative energy of the universe.

And just like the doors of opportunity open up for you because of the people you know, the doors of universal goodness open up. The more thanks you give to the universe, the more things you will receive to be thankful for.

When you constantly think of the best, you become the best—the most powerful and effortless transformation.

The grace of gratitude

Being thankful has amazing positive effects. Studies have shown that people who kept a gratitude journal writing daily 5 to 10 things they’re grateful for increased their happiness and well being, and boosted their progress towards their goals.

Being in a state of gratefulness will open your heart and raise your vibrational resonance. It will uplift your spirit in the darkest of times.

The gratitude connection

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~Albert Schweitzer

When you express gratitude, you give yourself the gift of lightness and appreciation.  You start gravitating more towards the beauty and wisdom of all of life. Every experience and feeling becomes a gift.

As you focus more on gratitude, you see the value and contribution of the amazing people around you. You radiate gratefulness in your exchange with others passing on the gift of gratitude.

You uplift others in the process and elevate the positive energy of everyone—the most precious gift you can give to the universe. And the universe returns the favor by handing you more love and beauty. It’s a universal and collective win.

The  journey

Knowing the positive impact gratitude has, it becomes necessary to make it a habit—to continuously give thanks for all the good that comes to you.

Today I invite you to join me and other fellow passengers on this wondrous journey and go for a 30 days gratitude adventure.

Every day we will pick one thing that we’re grateful for. We’ll explore it in depth and reflect positively—with appreciation—on the experience, object, interaction, or creation.

You don’t have to do these in sequence or even pick the same items. The most important thing is to pick one thing every day and focus your intention and energy on being grateful with all of your heart and soul.

If you have the time to write down your thoughts at the end of the day and how you feel, it will engage your entire brain and enhance your experience.

We all have demonstrated that we have the power and ability to accomplish what we desire, thrive and overcome and move past challenges. Let’s celebrate life and its blessings together.

1. Breath

If I were to connect life with one word it would be breath. We breathe life on average 20,000 times per day.

Today focus on your breathing as much as you can. Stop every hour or so and take a few deep breaths. Follow the oxygen as it goes into your body and notice how your magnificent body eliminates toxins.

Think of the oxygen in our atmosphere and how we get the necessary dose to breathe and energize the body. Look at the forms of life around you and notice how they’re breathing.

How does it feel to be able to breathe?  What’s the value of every breath you take? How grateful are you?

2. Movement

Today become more aware of the way you move. Start when you get up in the morning, move around your home, get ready, walk, grab something, kick something, or write something. Pay attention to your feet, legs, arms, hands and fingers.

Reflect on all the things you can do because you’re able to move.

3. Body functions and organs

Pay attention to how your body sends you signals all day. Become aware of how your body lets you know that you’re thirsty, hungry or you need a bathroom break.

Think of all the work that goes in the background to get nutrients from what you eat, hydrate your body and eliminate excess waste.

How fortunate are we to have such amazing and complex organs functioning seamlessly!

4. Senses

Indulge your senses today by giving your full awareness to the experience. Taste the goodness in food; really feel what you touch; look with focus and see the beauty around you; listen with intent and smell the freshness of the season.

If you wish to take it deeper, reflect on each sense for a day instead of grouping them all together.

5. Food & drink

Whatever you eat and drink today, consume it with appreciation. Think of the time, effort and resources that were expended for you to have what you’re having.

Give thanks to other forms of life that generously give to you—vegetables, fruits, herbs, cows, pigs, chicken, turkey, fish and so on.

6. Brain power

Observe your thoughts today. Whenever you do anything, become aware of the command that you give and how your body responds instantly.

Be thankful for the super computer that runs your body, your thoughts and your imagination.

7. Receiving

We often focus on what we’re lacking and what we want to have. Let’s take a break and focus on what we have received in our life.

Think of all the money you received, be it a salary, a gift, an inheritance or assistance.  Bring to memory all the other gifts, big and small, that you received.

You will be amazed by how much value you have received over a lifetime.

8. Giving

Let’s shift the focus to what you gave in a lifetime. Think of all the money, gifts, and help you have given over the years. Include all the money you paid for services and products, donations, and anything else you can think of.

How many people benefited because of your giving? Countless I bet.

9. Success

Taking a day to be grateful for success is something that will invigorate you and restore your confidence.

What are all the achievements in your life? Include everything that you can think of like education, family, work, health, business.

How do you feel about your success?

10. Failure

Instead of the usual self abuse over failure, let’s think today of the positive side of not playing it safe.

What are the things you feel you failed at? Did you take any risk? What lessons have you learned and how did you grow from such experiences?

11. Home

What are all the things you like about your home? Reflect on the security and  warmth of being at home. It’s your shelter, your sanctuary and the place you always come back to.

Give thanks for the building and construction process and all the machines and people that transformed materials into the place you call home.

12. Clothing

Take a look in your closet and think of all the work that was done to create the clothing items that you wear—from design, fabric, machines and labor to the store where you bought them.

Feel the embrace of fabric against your body, the protection and comfort your clothes give you.

13. Furniture

As you get up in the morning, look at the bed you’re sleeping in and how much  rest it gives you. Think of the ways you are supported by every chair or couch you sit on, every table or desk you use.

Think of the process of creating these items and how they got to you—the long journey it took to transform raw material into things of beauty and comfort.

14. Belongings

From the time you get up to the time you go to sleep, look at everything in your surroundings, appliances, electronics, cars, musical instruments, pens, paper, funds you have, investments, and so on.

Just like we did before, think of all the creative ideas behind such items and the entire process of making them come to life and be of use to you.

15. Skills and gifts

There are so many skills that we have acquired over the years that we take for granted. Today think of such skills like being able to walk, push a wheelchair, read, write, use a computer, surf the internet, drive, ride a bicycle, draw, take photographs, play a musical instrument, and anything else you can think of.

You also have so many gifts that you may not even notice. Think of the things that come naturally to you, like a sense of humor, intuition, imagination and creativity, wit, ability to learn, ability to connect with other people with ease. Give thanks for all your skills and abilities.

Because this article is long, I have split it into two parts. The second part will be released within a week.

I’m so grateful for you dear reader and for every communication I have with you. Happy thanksgiving to our American friends.

What does a new born believe in? What does a four year old believe in? What do you believe in?

Are our beliefs mostly helpful or harmful to ourselves and others? Do they reflect the truth of our existence?

Can we live without beliefs?

To answer these questions, let’s look at what beliefs are vs. truths.

Truths are undeniable and universal. The earth is round. The sun is our star and the planets orbit the sun. Gravity works on earth.

Truths have been proven to be true. We don’t need to validate them beyond that.

Beliefs on the other hand are selective, personal and changeable.

Everything we tell ourselves about ourselves, others and the world comes from beliefs.

If you see the world as a violent and unjust place, it’s because you believe it to be so. If you believe you are not good enough, or people are not trust worthy, you will find that as well.

The opposite is true of course. You can believe that the world is a compassionate and loving place. You may believe that you can do anything you set your mind to and that people are overwhelmingly supportive and kind.

As you can see above, such selectiveness can be dangerous. Why? Simply put because we have a negative bias, because of the way we’re conditioned to grow up.

The dangers of certain beliefs

Beliefs masquerade as truths.

Once a belief sets in, it becomes a personal truth; we view the world and our experiences from that perspective only. In other words, we create our vision of reality.

In any society acceptable customs and traditions all turn into beliefs over time. The collective follows what was set out by a group of people in the past. Each society has its own standards of beauty, success, status happiness, and acceptable ways to behave and interact with others. These beliefs become societal truths.

Beliefs require constant validation.

When we believe something, we look for proof that it’s true. The mind is always looking for ways to prove that we are right. And guess what? We will be right, all the time.

If you believe you’re not good enough, you constantly keep looking for ways to prove that you are not enough.

When we feel our way (what we believe in) is threatened, we attack others and their beliefs. We become one with our beliefs; they are part of who we are. So anything that challenges our way of thinking represents an attack on us.

Beliefs create a fixed view of what is and what should be.

Look behind most controlling actions and you will find an underlying belief that something should be this way. Or a person should behave that way. Or I must be doing this instead of that.

Each belief represents a single view that won’t accommodate any other possible position—especially an opposing one. It’s my way or the highway.

Can we live without beliefs?

Can we stop believing? I honestly don’t know.

What I know for sure is that we can become more aware of our beliefs and we can choose what we believe in.

Once we increase our awareness, we can stop following beliefs blindly and do things differently.

Our beliefs are not sacred and can be wrong. We can challenge and question them.

Awakening to the truth: how to let go of beliefs

If we go back to how beliefs were formed, we realize that we didn’t exert any effort. We allowed the expectations of society and the meaning we assigned to certain experiences to repeat over time and seep into our subconscious mind, unquestioned.

To awaken, we can go through these simple but powerful processes.

Stop believing everything.

Whenever you have an opinion, stop before you turn it into a full blown belief about a situation, and think for a moment.

Let’s look at this example:

Someone bumps into me at the supermarket. She looks at me indignantly as if it’s my fault. I immediately think to myself she is rude. Automatically, I extrapolate this view that the world is full of rude and delusional people. What’s wrong with humanity?

Then I start looking for rudeness everywhere—in the parking lot, at the work place, at home. And I find plenty of rude people.

I can choose to stop for a second after the incident before making a judgment that the person is rude.

This short moment may be all I need to diffuse the situation in my mind. If it’s not enough I’ll consider the next step.

Question and challenge beliefs.

Beliefs take a hold because they go unquestioned. At a deeper level we know that our beliefs are not truths; that’s why we keep looking for ways to prove that they’re right.

What if we start looking for ways to prove that they are wrong?

In the example above, I can ask myself how do I know that she’s rude? Well she bumped into me and then got pissed that I was in her way. She didn’t apologize.

Are there any other reasons that this person behaved the way they did?

Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was on medication and not feeling well. Maybe she was in her head and when she bumped into me she was startled. Maybe things happened so fast that she didn’t realize that she needed to apologize. Maybe she’s having problems at work or at home or caring for someone who is sick and wasn’t paying attention.

How many maybes can you come up with? Which one of them is the truth?

I don’t know. Do you? So how can we pick one possibility and make it the ultimate outcome of an experience, then turn it into a truth?

Once you cast doubt on a belief, you disempower it and stop it from running rampant in your mind and heart as a holy truth.

If someone didn’t question that the earth was flat, we would still believe that it was. If someone didn’t challenge racial segregation, we wouldn’t have changed our ways. This is the power of questioning beliefs.

Embrace not knowing.

The human ego is a ruthless dictator. It wants to be right all the time. And in order for it to be right, it needs to know something. Not knowing is considered a sign of ignorance and weakness.

In the example above, I don’t know for sure if the person I bumped into at the supermarket is rude. So why believe my thoughts about the situation?

Another simple example is when you ask someone for directions and they give you the wrong ones because they don’t want to say they don’t know. You can ask a few people and get different directions and then you’re more lost.

Personally, I’d rather someone tell me they don’t know than misguide me. I think it’s fair to assume that most people want the truth vs. made up directions.

We don’t have to believe other people’s statements and opinions blindly—they don’t know, just like us.

Beliefs give us a sense of comfort that comes from the illusionary certainty of knowing. The truth about beliefs is that we don’t know much about anything. We know very little about the world and our existence.

We have suffered long enough because of unfounded beliefs. We can choose to believe as much we can choose not to believe. And that is freedom.

The truth is you are alive now; you have a choice and you don’t know everything.

Open up to life as is. Welcome your experiences with the curiosity and enthusiasm of a child without the bias and trepidation of beliefs. Choose to support yourself and others and let the rest go. When you do this, you’ll heal your mind and heart … you will become peace on earth.

Do you want to feel more peace in your life right at this moment?

If the answer is yes, then do this one thing: Regardless of what it is you’re doing or experiencing, do the best you can. That’s it.

Doing the best you can is very simple. When you’re contemplating or starting something, intend on doing the best you can.

Say to yourself (inwardly or outwardly) I’ll do the best I can.

The beauty of your best

Doing your best will transform the way you do the simplest of tasks. Think of these benefits.

Awakening to this moment

When you do your best, you’ll experience life on a whole new level. You’ll be fully immersed in what you’re doing. You will have sharp, but soft focus on one action without the need to think about what was before or what’s coming after.

Acceptance and appreciation

The underlying intention of doing your best, will pave the way for you to experience this moment as is. If you’re feeling angry, it’s the best you can feel. If you’re feeling happy, it’s your best as well. Accepting what you’re feeling will ease you into action with more awareness.

If you know you’re doing your best, you can’t expect anything more from yourself. You will accept your effort for what it is.

And when you accept, you open your entire being to life. You set yourself up in a feel good loop. You accept and appreciate, and you feel better, and as you feel better, you appreciate more.

Being at peace

When you experience what’s unfolding right now, without struggle, you will feel an inner calm. You will go with it and let everything else float in the background.

How do you do your best?

How can you tell if you’re doing your best? It’s very simple. Look within and see how you’re feeling at the moment. Are you contented? Are you calm? Or are you anxious and frazzled? Only you can tell.

Consider these simple guidelines that I found useful in my own experience of trying to do my best.

No standards

You get to define what best means to you. There are no grades or gold stars. This is your best—you own it.

No perfection

Your best is personal, not perfect. It’s dynamic and flexible. It will change and grow with you over time.

No expectations

Put in your best effort without any regard to outcomes. Don’t focus on goals and targets; do the best you can and the results will take care of themselves.

No rush

You can’t do your best if you’re obsessing over how fast you’re going and trying to save time. Go for it and forget time all together.

More play

Don’t take things too seriously. The best is usually light hearted and playful.

A way of life

Doing your best can become a way of life for you—every minute and every day—whether it’s a mental challenge, a physical experience or an emotional meltdown. Reminding yourself that you’re doing the best you can is the best way to handle anything.

When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself that your intention today is to do the best you can. Do your best when you move out of bed; make your shower the best one you’ve ever had. Get dressed like it’s fashion week for you. Eat the best breakfast you can have. Do the best job you can do. Smile your best smile. Laugh your best laugh and cry your best cry.

It is the smallest of moments, experienced to the fullest, that infuse your life with the most profound meaning and value. A life lived moment by moment the best way possible is a life well lived.

“Act well at the moment, and you have performed a good action for all eternity.” ~Johann Kaspar Lavater

To your best!

I often ask myself what is it that truly matters to me? Usually I start with a list of values ranging from freedom and creativity to family and connection.

What does it all mean? I feel like my values are just a bunch of words and abstract concepts.

For example, what does freedom mean exactly? To me it means that I can do what I want when I want to. Most of the time, I’m fortunate enough to do what I want. This of course is subject to life’s unexpected surprises and setbacks. There are also my frustrations and doubts which cast a shadow over what I get to do sometimes.

When I think about it, I feel that I’m not as free as I think I should be and that makes me question what I mean when I say I value freedom.

What does any value mean? How do we define what’s really important? And if I’m unclear about the meaning of what’s important, how do I find value in what I’m doing?

The other side of value

I decided instead of focusing on value and importance—which are not that clear, why not think of how others benefit in their own lives, which is more practical.

Value is the price (or measure) of what we use to solve a problem or improve our lives and the lives of others.

At the heart of what’s valuable and what matters is a need met and a life changed.

Where I found value

In a previous article I mentioned needing to take my mother to the dentist to get her chipped tooth fixed. We did it a few days back. It was a long commute to the dentist and back. Thankfully, things went smoothly and our dentist managed to repair the tooth and make it look better than it originally was.

After we were done, we stopped at the hairdresser and my mother got a haircut. On the way home, she looked at me with the brightest eyes and the biggest smile and said I feel like I’m brand new. She was so happy and appreciative of the changes.

I can’t describe to you how I felt in that moment. I felt like all of life gave my heart a hug. My soul lit up and I truly felt grateful and privileged to have been able to contribute to my mother’s well-being in a simple way that made her feel good.

This is what truly matters. We all are here to feel good and make others feel good—genuinely feel good. The good that ignites your soul and makes your heart smile. The good that radiates through your body with love and gratitude.

How do you make yourself and others feel good?

If you want to reach the depth of your soul and find what matters to you most, don’t waste your time looking for values and metrics of importance. Instead consider the following:

Do what you love. If you live from your highest joy, you will live a life that is of the most value to you. You will feel great and you might inspire others to do the same.

Help others. Share your brilliance with the people around you. Contribute in any way you can to help others. Give with all your heart. If you don’t have money, give your time and effort.

Don’t underestimate your contribution. There is no small act of support and kindness. The time you spend with your child, a smile to a total stranger as they pass you by, holding the elevator for someone, or helping a friend through a breakup—all count. Every single act, thought and gesture count.

I’m not going to worry about my values any more. What matters to me the most is to do what I love and what can genuinely affect someone’s life in the simplest and most authentic way.

We are in this journey to be all we can be and to help others in their journey to true fulfillment. Look deeply within your life and do what brings you joy and when you can, add a hint of joy to anyone around you. Life’s best moments are the ones that are shared.

That’s the heart of what matters and the best legacy we can leave behind.

At the center of the universe is a loving heart that continues to beat and that wants the best for every person. Anything we can do to help foster the intellect and spirit and emotional growth of our fellow human beings, that is our job. ~Fred Rogers