The natural impulse most of us have in response to feeling overwhelmed is to freeze.

We stop in our tracks. We can’t seem to do anything. It is the exact opposite of rushing. When we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by all of life’s demands, we turn to procrastination.

More days go by and more things pile up. The overwhelming cycle never ends and we continue to struggle.

Why do we feel overwhelmed?

In order to move forward, we need to understand how we got there in the first place.  The feeling doesn’t happen overnight. It is a gradual process where things creep up on you until you feel you can’t handle it any more.

In my view, reaching this stage is the result of two factors.

1. Indecision. When you can’t decide what is important to you, you don’t know what you want to do and what you want to ignore. Everything is in your face all the time. This is where it all begins.

2. Resistance to what needs to be done. Postponing or ignoring something because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s going away. The nagging adds more to your resistance and struggle.

How feeling overwhelmed affects us

Feeling overwhelmed is a sign of feeling that things are out of your control. You may experience the following:

• Feeling like a victim and not taking responsibility. If things are out of your control, then you must be a victim of something more powerful than you.  Once you are in victim mode, you strip yourself of any desire to create what you want in life.
• Inner struggle. The continued nagging and negativity eat away at you. You can’t feel peaceful when you struggle with a lot of stuff.
• Avoidance. This is a big one. When you don’t deal with your stressful feelings you tend to avoid the situations that cause the emotion. Avoidance usually spreads like wild fire and before you know it, you start avoiding life.
• Negative self image. When you don’t achieve results, you reinforce limiting beliefs of lack of self worth and not deserving success. You dig yourself deeper into self loathing and despair.
• Physical manifestations as a result of stress and frustration. Negativity generates more negativity that affects your mind and body. You feel worn out even without doing anything.

How can you move past the paralyzing situation?

If you recognize that you feel overwhelmed and are not moving forward you can start with the following:

Awareness. This is the first step towards any positive change in your life.

• Go with the feeling. What does your body tell you when you feel overwhelmed?
• Pick one thing that you want to do and say it out loud (e.g. I need to do my taxes). Are you feeling that you can’t do it?  Where do you feel it in your body?
• Close your eyes and let the feeling take you over for a moment. Allow the feeling to move through you. It will subside if you don’t resist it.
• Say it again: I need to do my taxes. Smile and tell yourself that it will get done just like you have done it every other year or that you will make a fresh start this year. Don’t think about the how you’re going to do it now.
• Repeat this step with all the things that come to mind.

Don’t worry about how long it will take. You were not doing anything anyway. You might as well spend time to neutralize the negative emotions. This is a HUGE step forward.

Prioritization. With awareness comes the recognition that you can’t do everything at the same time.  You have to start with ONE thing and one thing only.  When we can’t decide what to do it means we don’t know what is important to us at this moment.  Start with what is REALLY important to you.

Break it down. This is where you break down what you chose as your priority into small manageable portions. Write down all the steps you have to do. If your priority was to file your income taxes, your first step is: buying the software and installing it. The second step would be: gathering the receipts. Now you are rolling. Continue doing one thing at a time.

Commit to completion. Nothing is more painful than having something half done or unfinished. If you have to stop because you are waiting for something or someone, make sure that this shows up daily on your list until you complete it. Otherwise it will stay in your mind and nag at you.

Do not take on any new tasks or projects. Complete one thing before adding a new one so your list doesn’t grow. Even better: commit to getting two things done before allowing a new item to come in. This will gradually reduce the size of your list.

You always have a choice. In the larger scheme of things recognize that you always have a choice. You can do something and take it off  your mental and physical list or you can choose to ignore it and live with the consequences.  Either way, you need to make peace with your decision, otherwise, you will struggle.

The interesting thing is: the first part of the credits was in 3D and had a lot of cool effects. They were really fun to watch. People who left the theater missed out. But also they blocked the view of people like me who wanted to enjoy the last bit.

Why were people rushing to leave the theater?  Is there something more pressing?

When people rush, where are they going? What is more important than what they’re doing now? Are they going to rush through the next thing as well?

In all likelihood yes they are. Why? Because rushing through life is becoming part of their daily living. Like most habits rushing runs on automatic most of the time.

“One’s action ought to come out of an achieved stillness: not to be mere rushing on.”  ~D.H. Lawrence

The side effects of rushing

I can’t think of any good thing that comes out of rushing. When you rush, you don’t stop to think. There is an unhealthy obsession with time. The list below highlights some of the side effects.

You don’t enjoy what is right in front of you. When you rush you are focusing on the next step and the things to come so you miss out on experiencing the present moment.

It stresses you out. It is hard to rush without being stressed. Your body will tense and in all likelihood you will experience negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and anxiety.

You don’t do your best. Your work results are mediocre at best. In your effort to speed things up, you will not focus on what you are doing. The only thing that matters is moving to the next thing.

You mismanage your time. You think by rushing you are saving time and being efficient. But in reality you don’t give yourself enough time to do something deliberately in order to learn from it. True efficiency comes from doing something well in the least amount of time. If you don’t learn how to do something well, you will continue to do the same thing over and over without any improvement in your skills and that is a waste.

You may miss out on opportunities for inspiration and improvement. You can hardly notice anything when you’re rushing. Insight is born out of contemplation and deliberation.

It can become a dangerous habit. If you rush through traffic for example or through important work, the consequences can be devastating. This outcome may affect others as well. Can you live with that?

There is an ever growing need to feed the addiction. When you’re addicted to rushing, you will always feel that you need to speed things up even more.  It is a never ending cycle of racing against time.

How to slow down

Most of what we rush for is not really important or urgent. It is our own perception about the situation and this ingrained habit of moving fast that drive us. A simple change in attitude can be a good start. You can try any or a combination of the items below to start slowing down. Be gentle and don’t rush into changing.

Take your time. Allow more than enough time for anything you do. If you are going to the movies, assign enough time to enjoy yourself. Don’t squeeze in other things that you have to do while you’re at the theater. With experience you will get better at gauging how long it will take you to do something or be somewhere.

Do one thing at a time and do it well. Imagine that you are being watched and your performance evaluated. Do the smallest of acts as if you want to win a prize for being the best at it. When you do everything from a place of awareness, you will not only get better at it but you will enjoy it.

Breathe. Make a frequent habit of stopping and taking a few deep breaths. You will be surprised by the calm that accompanies breathing.

Relax. Take time to just be. Don’t do anything, or try a few minutes of meditation. Learning to relax can help you not only when you need to rush, but in coping with the demands of daily living.

Smile. A smile can brighten the moment and take away from the sense of urgency. It can serve as a reminder that nothing is really worth getting worked up about and rushing to or away from.

Have fun and enjoy life one minute at a time.

Photo courtesy of gagilas

I believe most people have had dreams at some point in their lives. They either gave up or daily living caught them by surprise. I am one of those many. I had a million and one excuses for not thinking about what I desired and went through the motions of what was expected of me.

I kept thinking that I don’t know what I want. In reality we all have desires and ambitions. Growth is a natural part of life.

Don’t think for a second that you don’t have any desires to experience joy and growth. Have you heard of a child who couldn’t imagine or didn’t know what she wanted for Christmas?

Every minute of every day is Christmas for all of us. All we have to do is know what to ask for.

“The key that unlocks energy is desire. It’s also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited.”  ~Earl Nightingale

Just start.
To get going, I started with a list of what I would like to be, have and do. To be honest, I wasn’t sure about what I put on that list. But it was a good starting point. I don’t have absolute clarity about where my life is heading. But I have a few things I’m quite clear about. I would rather focus on what I desire instead of self sabotage and escapism.

People sometimes confuse finding out their true passion with choosing the ONE purpose of their life. So they stop looking because they don’t know what their purpose is. Some people have clarity about the purpose of their lives and many others don’t. But that doesn’t mean you should stop dreaming and growing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun and do what you enjoy doing.  Allow yourself to explore and change direction if need be.

Regardless of your age or where you are at, you are where you need to be at this moment.  If you’re reading this, it might be time for you to think about what you desire in your life.

Questions of the heart
The questions below might be useful. There is no right or wrong answer. You don’t have to answer all of them. Just pick the ones that feel good to you and write what comes to you without second guessing. You can refine your findings later.

What do you normally enjoy doing and lose yourself in doing?

Who are the people you admire the most and why do you admire them?

What types of books and magazines, blogs do you read on a regular basis?

What ideas and places inspire you?

What are you good at that comes naturally and easily to you?

What would you do if you knew absolutely you couldn’t fail?

If you have all the money in the world and your financial future is secure, what would you do every day of your life? What would you be willing to do for free?

When your journey is over what would you like to be remembered for? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

As a child, what were the most fun things you did? What did you imagine you would do when you grow up?

What do you most often give to others?

What do others look to you for?

What are you most often complimented on?

What do the people closest to you say you’re passionate about?

Give yourself enough time to answer these questions. Dig deep and don’t doubt what you write down. Be audacious and write down your wildest dreams and desires.

Answering some or all of these questions will give you an idea about what’s important to you, what you enjoy doing and what you can be.

Go through a mindless review.
Once you have the answers, go through them and highlight what feels right to you now. Go with your feeling; get out of your head.

Write down the items that you highlighted on one list.

Read one item on the list and then close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like if this was present in your life at this moment. Does it excite you? Does it scare you? Does it make you want to start doing something?

Details and more details
For each item you wrote down start a new page and write about it in as much detail as you can. This exercise will help you get a clear picture. For example, if you want to write a book, write all the details you can think of: topic, an outline of concepts and ideas, number of pages, what best seller list it’s going to be on …etc. Clarity will motivate you to move forward.

The WHY behind the WHAT
After writing your list of what you desire, write down why you want these items to manifest in your life. Be as honest with yourself as you can. This can be tricky as sometimes the need for validation or what others think can influence some of what you write down.

Be true to who you are.

Don’t confuse your truth with if’s and but’s and other mind made limitations about what is possible. It is not your job to worry about HOW these things are going to manifest.  Also don’t just think of your limited resources or if what you desire will make money.

The point right now is to know that your desires are clear and reflect your true nature. It is about fulfillment and joy. Trust and the money will come.

Think about it. Live it.
Once you have your list of things you would like to be, do and have, read it and reflect upon it.

Visualize your heart’s desires manifesting in your life. How does it feel? Capture that feeling and live it. Act as if your desires have ALREADY become part of your life.

If your mind wanders during the day into its old habitual negative thoughts, try gently to focus your thoughts onto things you desire. If you are going to imagine and think about stuff, why not make it about something that inspires you?

The items on your list are not set in stone. They will change over time but they are a good starting point for having a direction to move forward.

Fake it till you make it.
If you are still confused about what you desire, pretend that you know and pick the things you think you would like to be, have and do.

Keep your thoughts and emotions in check. You might be standing in your own way with doubts and negative self talk.

Anything that brings you joy is something worth pursing until it’s not fun anymore. It’s really that simple.

Other articles and resources you might find useful:

Steve Pavlina: How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes.

Zen Habits: The short but powerful guide to finding your passion.

Illuminated Mind: 7 Keys to discovering your passion.

In my view, fitting in is a result of a person’s need to belong to something bigger than oneself.

Belonging is a need that grows.

The need for belonging starts with our family, our neighborhood, our city, state, country, creed and race.

As we grow our belonging grows with us to include education, colleagues at work, professional organizations, sports groups, social status, financial status…etc.

As belonging grows, the identification with it gets stronger.  We crave acceptance and the privilege of being part of a select group.

We carry our family name. We become our profession. We identify with the roles of every group we belong to.

The thing with belonging is: it’s never ending. There is always something else you want to belong to.  At the root of it is a need for validation. We feel more worthy when we become part of something.

Belonging is manmade.

At this time and age most of our belonging is manmade.  It is not about survival of the species and overcoming nature’s harsh environment.

We follow certain conventions and become part of something that another person, or group of people decided upon. After a while, we start following blindly without questioning the merit of such groups.

We belong to families, yet we refer to them as dysfunctional. We feel differently about how people behave when it comes to religion, nationalism or patriotism. Not all rich or poor people can fit into one definition of what makes them who they are.

The two extremes of belonging

Sooner than later the belonging ends up being a disappointment or a cause for prejudice against others. Both represent negative motivations. With these two extremes come the extremes of human emotions:  feeling isolated and lost or feeling angry and resentful. Again, not a good way to feel and live.

We feel isolated when we feel our own identity does not fit in with the collective. On the other hand, we feel fearful and angry when we think our own existence is threatened by someone who is different, someone who does not adhere to our way and what should be.

The dangers of extremes

In the first extreme of isolation we may go out of our way to express our loyalty or to compromise our values and principles seeking to connect with a certain group.  In the long run we feel more isolated and may resent ourselves for being different or for compromising our values.

The other extreme is no different. We go out of our way to defend our view and our group to the point of participating in armed conflict, all in the support of our cause.

Belonging is an illusion

If we pause for a minute to consider all the things we take pride in belonging to, we realize that they are as fleeting and fragile as our own physical existence.

Borders, social status, race, and everything in between are manmade illusions. The truth is we are all one and we are all unique at the same time.

Sharing a common connection with a group of people doesn’t mean we are all the same. It also doesn’t mean that we are better or worse than others.

We are not our family name, our religious affiliation, or anything else. We are more than that. We are part of life and all of its expression.

How to not belong

Do not label. Try as much as possible not to label people or yourself.  Start by focusing on your individuality and everyone else’s. Look for the beauty in every person you meet. See their uniqueness. Appreciate them for who they are.

Allow yourself to be who you truly are. Nothing is more inspiring than a person living their own truth.

Detach yourself from outcomes. Enjoy the experience without the expectation of a certain outcome. If you are watching a game of your favorite sports team for example, have fun watching the game regardless of who wins.  Appreciate the skills of all players and enjoy the enthusiasm of the crowd. Watch and let go.

Treat everyone with respect (including yourself). Respect should not be contingent upon allegiance or affiliation. See the universal connection with every living thing. Recognize that there are no others. It’s not US against THEM. There is no us and no others.

The outcome of not belonging

When we let go of the need to belong and stop seeking validation, life become more enjoyable. We are at peace with who we are. We accept and appreciate life in all of its forms. Who wouldn’t want more inner peace and contentment in their lives?

Photo courtesy of ph-stop

How many times a day do you hear about the need to take action? If you want to get anything done,  you have to take action. It is the key to improving any aspect of your life or making your dreams come true.

Motion is not necessarily action.

“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

People confuse movement with action. You can be busy moving around and doing stuff all day. When you think about what you accomplished, it is just busy work that does not move you forward in your life. Examples of this include: shuffling paper, being on the phone or online doing one thing after an other in hopes of getting something done but without a clear purpose. It ends up being a waste of time and energy.

So how do you make your actions count?

#1: Effective action
What is effective action? It is focused effort. You put your heart and soul into what you are doing as if your life depends on it. You give it the best you can. You eliminate distractions and perform the task from a place of power. You give every task you do the same attention and care.

Effective action is the most direct and straight way to achieve your desired results. It is simple, powerful and efficient.

#2: Inspired action
It is what you do with joy. It is action that feels more like fun than hard work. It comes from doing something that excites you and gets you going. Sometimes you don’t think it is work at all. It is action with a sense of purpose. It comes from your own truth, not ego. It’s not about winning or competing.

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” ~Jules Renard

Inspired action is the small steps that reflect your values and move you towards your heart’s desires.

Does action have to be both?
Not necessarily.

If you have to do something that you doesn’t inspire you, it can still be done in an effective manner. Do it with all of your power and give it the best you can regardless of how trivial or mundane it may seem.

Losing yourself in what you are doing can be the catalyst for inspiration.

Another interesting thing about effective action: as you continue doing things with focus and power, you start appreciating the smallest things. As time goes by, this appreciation turns the simplest acts into inspired action that gives you joy and fulfillment.

You may ask can my action be inspired but not effective? My answer is: I don’t think so.

If you are doing something from a place of joy and truth, you will get into it and, whether you intend it or not, you will be in that zone where focus and flow come naturally.

The best way to start is to do every little action in an effective manner and the rest will take care of itself.

“Great acts are made up of small deeds.” ~Lao Tzu

For further reading on action check out The Little Rules of Action.


Photo courtesy of Ed Yourdon

A lot of people feel trapped in a never ending barrage of things to do. Their to-do lists continue to expand regardless of how much gets accomplished. They are scrambling most of the time. A typical example is the working mom who has to get from her work to the kids’ soccer practice, then off to the ballet recital. Back home to cook dinner, ensure the kids do their homework, put the kids to bed and tidy up, then go to bed.

When you stop and think about it, do you really have to do any of that stuff?

One might say I have to provide for my family. I need food and a roof over my head. So I have to work to earn enough money, at least for the basics. After all I have to live.

Living is a choice
The honest truth is we don’t have to live. We don’t have to eat and we don’t have to provide for our families. We do it because we want to live and we want to care for our loved ones.

Do you want to or have to:

• Take care of your partner/spouse, parent, child …etc.?
• Be a hard working employee or a dedicated boss?
• Be a loyal friend?
• Support your colleagues and co-workers?

We choose to do most, if not all, of the things in our lives. As morbid as this may sound; living is a choice. There are people who choose to end their own lives. We all have the ability to end our lives but our desire for living is stronger.

We live because we desire to do so and we choose to have a good quality of life.

Choice is freedom
Take away the sense of obligation from everything you do and think about it as an option.

Living with choices is freedom. You can do what you would like to do and when you want to do it.  You can say yes or no to anything based on what you desire.

With choices comes clarity
The biggest changes with the most impact can come from a tiny shift in perspective. If you recognize all the things you do as choices you make, you start thinking and acting differently.

You can focus on what you want to do for yourself and your family. When you are clear about your desires, you can simply choose not to do the things that don’t matter to you.

It is amazing how much you can eliminate when you talk with others and find out that they are OK with foregoing some stuff and activities. They did it in the past because they thought it was expected of them.

As you become more clear about your own desires and choices,  you gain more experience in simplifying your life and doing what matters.

An appreciation for ability
The other side of choice is the ability to do something. If you want to do something and you can do it, then you are set.

Being thankful for your abilities will make doing anything worthwhile.

Aren’t you lucky to be able to:

• Take care of your partner/spouse, parent, child …etc.?
• Be a hard working employee or a dedicated boss?
• Be a loyal friend?
• Support your colleagues and co-workers?

Action rooted in gratitude can be a source of joy
The freedom of choice combined with an appreciation of our own abilities can turn everything we do into enjoyable and meaningful action. We then become one with life.

Photo courtesy of Hauggen

As adults we tend to lose the enjoyable side of obsession. We associate it with compulsive or unwanted thoughts and emotions. Yet we obsess more than we realize. Our beliefs, desires, fears and attitudes are shaped by habitual thinking and feeling.

We can use this obsessive trait to our advantage. One definition of obsession is: the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

Based on the above definition the outcome of obsession depends on the type of dominant thoughts, ideas and desires one has. If one obsesses over positive empowering ideas and desires, amazing things can happen.

The movers and shakers have always been obsessive nuts. ~Theodore Sturgeon

Here are a few examples of how obsession can be a good thing.

Finishing what you started
Have a project lingering that you can’t seem to finish? Make it your new obsession. Think about it; make plans and work on it as if your life depended on it. Make it the love of your life till it’s done. It is probably taking a lot of your mental space anyway. Think of how you will feel when you complete it.

Practice makes improvement
Put your energy and focus into practicing something you want to improve. Write more; play an instrument; learn to tap dance. Think about it a lot and make the new practice part of your daily habits. Look forward to the time you are going to do it.

Learning a new skill
We all have a lot of things we want to learn or do. But we get distracted and don’t seem to find the time. Pick something you really wanted to learn and make a conscious decision that this is going to be your new obsession. Imagine and continue to think about it. Get excited and build the anticipation of the fun you’re going to have.

Start your own small business
This would be a great way to harness your obsessive side to start the business you dreamed of. Play with ideas and concepts. Think about your business when you go to bed, looking forward to all the fun and scary stuff you’re going to do tomorrow.

Reformat your mental hard drive
We all have a stream of habitual thinking that shapes our view of life and how we experience it. Creating a new mantra that you love and repeating it over and over to establish a new belief is an effective way of using your obession to your advantage. Do it with focus and conviction and you will gradually change your thoughts.

Leading by example
When you are focused on what is enjoyable, your enthusiasm can be infectious. Without any deliberate effort on your part, you will spread your positive energy and encourage others to become as obsessive as you are. Who doesn’t want to have a positive impact on others?

Take your obsession and embrace it into every aspect of your life that is empowering and fun. Allow yourself to repeat what you enjoy. Now go listen to your favorite song.  Have fun and enjoy your brain power!

Photo courtesy of dawnzy58

Photo courtesy of soupboy

There are situations where we continue to resist making a decision. The protective part of the brain is trying to keep the status quo.

What we don’t realize is: safety has a price.

The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. – Maimonides

The cost of indecision may not be easily quantified. But it is felt every time we are faced with the need to make a decision.  Here is a personal example of the cost of indecision.

My blogging story
I started a blog back in 2002 when blogs were still new. I did it for a few months then stopped. I didn’t want to think about my content or how to expand the blog.

Move forward a few months: I deleted the blog.

I repeated this process at least five more times until 2009.

One might think I didn’t want to start a blog.  If I did it once or twice and moved on, then that would have been fine. But this self torture of redoing and undoing was not a positive experience. The only thing I learned from it was: I REALLY wanted to start a blog but I played it safe.

Putting my money where my heart is
Last year I started this blog. I did it differently this time. I chose to pay for hosting and reserved a name.  I became more motivated to make it work because, unlike other times, I made an investment.

I wrote for four months with a few readers. Now what?
If I repeated my old pattern, I would just pack it in and call it a day. It is the safest thing to do.

Instead I joined a blogging boot-camp offered by two of the bloggers I admire the most. I put myself out there. I participated and made the best out of this intensive five day journey. I made new friends who share the same desire to have a successful blog.

Putting more money, time and effort into creating this blog reinforces my commitment and motivates me to keep going.

What did my indecision cost me?

• Time: I repeated the same process of starting-up, design and topic choice many times.
• Energy: Starting blogs and writing took thought and effort.
• Missed opportunity: I could have used this time to do something else. Better yet, I could have learned more about blogging.
• Mental and emotional stress: This is the most significant cost. The constant mental nagging created a state of dissatisfaction and perpetuated more negative thoughts and limiting beliefs.

The above cost is not measurable in financial terms but it is more expensive than trying, learning and failing.

When we make decisions (right or wrong), we learn and grow with every experience. When we freeze in our tracks we remain where we are, or worse, we are left behind.

Is it OK to want to be where you are?
If you are content with your current status then it’s perfectly fine. But if you have a desire to do something and don’t want to take any more risks, then you are stagnating and will continue to struggle with indecision.

In order to move forward, we need to accept where we are without beating ourselves up. What matters is:  we are here and willing to start now.

You might find the following questions helpful in trying to figure out what’s holding you back. Reflect on your answers. Allow your intuition to guide you.

Do you still want to do it and why?
If it is something that keeps nagging at you, then there is a desire in you to do it. The next step is to figure out why you want to do it. The reason behind it will uncover your true passion which can be a motivation by itself.

What is stopping you?
Examine the excuses you’ve been telling yourself: not good enough, don’t know much, have nothing of value to offer, don’t have enough money, too old, too young… you get the picture.

How are you going to deal with your excuses?
Most of the obstacles we create are a result of limiting beliefs and conditioning. The simplest way to overcome them is just to start moving. If it is money or physical abilities, explore what you can do about it. The resources will reveal themselves when you start looking.

What is the worst that can happen if you fail completely?
Imagine the worst case scenario. How much money would you lose? How bad are you going to look? Are you going to be humiliated…Can you live with that? Is the experience worth it?

Where can you start today?
Determine what you can do NOW and start moving. A small step is all you need.

As you continue to move forward, you will feel less of your inner resistance. Your experience will motivate you to overcome indecision.

The answer is: you create your own internal hell. Intentions you don’t act on will take mental space and will eat at you until you do something. As you intend to do more things, you add fuel to the inferno.

What may help in easing the suffering and managing this inner hell is to answer a couple of questions.

Do you REALLY desire something and intend to make it a reality in your life?

When you intend to do something, mean it. Don’t just add an item to your list without thinking about doing it.

An item on your to-do list occupies space in your mind. Do you REALLY want to add more to your mind?

If an item has been on your mind for a significant amount of time and you haven’t done anything about it, do you REALLY want to get it done? What happens if you take it off your list? Is it going to matter in your life today, a month or a year from now?

Do you have the mental CAPACITY to handle and add more intentions?

Think of your mind as prime real estate that charges very expensive rent.

If an intention is not acted upon, how long can you let it occupy a unit of your mental property before you evict it? How about giving it a notice and if it is not done by that time, it is gone.

Your mental space has limited capacity and should be occupied by your BIGGEST and most IMPORTANT desires and intentions.

If your mental property is well managed, you will have a better chance of acting on what is important and evicting what doesn’t pay off.

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg.” ~ Author Unknown

A darkness descended on me. I was ready to bitch and blame anything and everyone. I started looking around the room for more things to get mad about. I felt things were out of control and the only option for me was anger.

The speed with which my mood changed was scary. Part of me was trying to figure out what was happening inside my head. But the ingrained reactive behavior was faster and smarter.

My resistance to the feelings added insult to injury. There was this inner voice that kept telling me to take it easy, it’s just an internet connection and my behavior and feelings were not acceptable for someone working on being in a state of inner peace and calm.

Luckily for me there was no one around. So there was no one to take it out on.  After a few minutes, I started to write. I took it out of my system. I complained and allowed all the negativity to come out on paper.

It took me a while to feel calm again. What I’ve learned from this experience can be summed up below.

• Allow: When you feel upset, allow the feeling to go through you. Fighting it makes it stronger.
• Judge not: Realize that we have lots of conditioning that is hard to change. You are doing the best you can at the moment. Do not judge yourself.
• No Whys: Do not try to figure out why you are feeling the negative emotion. It adds to your mental stress, which doesn’t help.
• Opportunity: Peace and calm are part of the journey not the destination. So with every situation, there is an opportunity for learning and growth. Embrace it.
• Meaning: Don’t take it out on someone else. Feeling crappy is a reaction to the meaning you attributed to an event. It has nothing to do with others.
• Get Physical: Take out your anger in a physical form if you can. Use a punching bag or go for a walk.
• Write: If you don’t feel like getting physical, start writing or typing. Don’t think about grammar or spelling. This is talking on paper. Keep writing until there is nothing you can think of.  Once done, delete the document or throw out the paper with the intention of letting go.
• Breathe!

Controlling thoughts and emotions is not an easy task. Recognizing our thoughts and managing our emotions are steps in the right direction.