Can You Get Out of Your Own Way?

Behind the fence

We all have dreams and desires—from the tangible wants to the deeper intangible connections and experiences. The motivated ones amongst us go after what they want. The thrill of the pursuit keeps us going for while until we start facing challenges and doubts.

The struggle mounts over time until it becomes too much to handle. Eventually, our dream ends up on some unfinished wish list or is written off completely. We tried and failed and that’s the end of that.

Sometimes letting go of a dream is the right thing to do. After trying, we realize we didn’t really want it.  However, in most cases, we don’t get what we want because we are standing in our own way. We sabotage our own progress by throwing in as many obstacles as we can—mostly at an unintentional subconscious level.

How do we do that? Look at some of the ways you stand in your way.

Overanalyzing everything. You are in your head most of the time. You try to look for a logical explanation for everything.  Funny thing is: we tend to be logical with everything except our inner sense of self and beliefs—these are usually left to our irrational emotions that are taken at face value—always.

Second-guessing. Did you say the right thing? Did you make the right decision? You run through a million what if scenarios questioning what you did or should do, and not in a positive way.

Lack of trust. You view the world as a hostile place. Nothing good should come your way and every bad thing is aimed straight at you. You’re a victim of everything and everyone. Not trusting yourself, others or the universe is your modus operandi.

Yeah, but. There is always a reason for you not to do or get something. You don’t have the skills, money, partner and the list goes on. When you can’t think of any excuse you revert to ‘yeah but I don’t deserve it’. And if all goes well, you sit and wait for the proverbial misery to hit the fan. After all your bad luck wins only 100% of the time.

Being unfocused. This is probably the biggest obstacle standing in the way of many people. If you ask someone what would make them happy right now, they probably won’t be able to answer you right away. I’m not talking about your life mission or your wildest dreams, just what would make you happy at this moment—just this moment.

Toxic distractions. Escapism is a big industry. There is nothing wrong with escaping if you want to power down and relax. But when it becomes the main drive behind your actions, waiting all day to escape online, have more than a few drinks, watch TV and so on, then you are avoiding your own life.

Rollercoaster rides. You get either bursts of optimism or large doses of pessimism. You can’t seem to be just OK. Okay to you is indifference and lack of interest rather than being content and fulfilled.

The swings are not limited to emotions and attitudes but extend to behavioral extremes like fear and recklessness or haste and procrastination. The middle ground does not know you. You’re not familiar with it.

The above are only examples of how you can block your own success and deprive yourself of the life you deserve. We all do it at one point or another. The trick is to recognize where we are at and make a conscious decision to move past our emotional roadblocks and mental fences.

I’ll talk about how you can get out of your way and move forward in the next article. In the mean time, I hope you get a chance to look within and ask yourself: can you get out of your own way?

To your dreams!

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