How much time do you consciously talk to yourself? And what kind of talk is it?

Note the emphasis on consciously. We talk to ourselves all the time—most of the talk is unconscious and negative.

They say if you talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you won’t have any friends.

So it’s very advantageous to stop this ongoing mindless stream and choose to do things differently—to have an honest conversation with ourselves.

Why have a conversation with yourself

Taking the time to deliberately talk to yourself can awaken you and transform the way you think and view your outer self. This is what would happen.

1. Become aware of your thoughts

Taking the time to talk to yourself will cause you to stop and pay attention to your inner dialogue.

The moment you pay attention to anything, your thinking shifts. You bring the process to your conscious mind.

2. Question and change the pattern

When you pay attention, you realize that some of the stuff that nags in the background of your mind is ridiculous or doesn’t apply anymore.

You will notice the main themes of thoughts that keep coming back. The more you notice a thought the less it will persist. The pattern then starts to change.

3. Connect to the truth and gain clarity

When you question what you say to yourself, you’ll  find other ways of looking at things. You can then neutralize the negativity by finding what contradicts it.

The conversation will also deepen your connection with your most inner truth by reinforcing the positives. You’ll gain clarity about how you view yourself and what’s working in your life.

How to have a conversation with yourself

There are no set rules when it comes to talking to yourself. The most important thing is to have the desire to do it and to sit down and do it.

Reflect on your life so far. It’s not about what you did yesterday. Think of the lasting impressions up to this point.

Interview yourself

Imagine that you’re interviewing yourself and you want to know about what’s working (or not working) in your life.

Consider the following questions:

• What were the most enjoyable and fun moments?
• What were the most painful experiences you had? How did you overcome or cope with them?
• What are your biggest achievements or the things you’re most proud of?
• What are your biggest mistakes and failures? How did you endure? What did you learn?
• What are your best qualities (the things you like about yourself and the things others like about you)?
• What are your weaknesses (things you don’t like about yourself or others have pointed out to you)?
• What are you craving right now in terms of emotions, experiences and challenges?
• What would make you more fulfilled, happy and satisfied?
• What are the things that scare you?
• Are your fears blocking you from living your highest joy?

Start with one or more of the above questions. Think and reflect deeply on your answers. You might end up with new questions. Answer them or write them down so you can think about them in your next interview.

Talk or write

You can imagine the interview in your head and talk to yourself silently. Or you can speak out loud if you’re alone.

You can also write your thoughts down and stop every now and then to think about what you wrote.

Refresh your memory

We tend to remember more of the bad than the good when we’re thinking about our experiences.

Go through your pictures or journals to refresh your memory. Talk to your family and friends about the things you don’t remember.

One thing you will notice: You’ve been through a lot and have accomplished more than you can remember.

Don’t judge

The process of self reflection is intended to give you insight about the inner workings of your mind and the ongoing dialogue. If you start judging yourself for your views of yourself and others, stop.

Remember you are the interviewer. Step outside of yourself.

Allow the darkness of past mistakes and regrets to fade into the light of your awareness.

Make it sacred

This is your time. Own it. Give yourself at least an hour of quiet time with no distractions. If you can’t have an hour, split the conversation into shorter parts.

Start with the intention of being truthful. Close with gratitude and the desire to live more from your highest good.

What’s next?

What to do next is up to you.

Do more of what makes you happy and fulfilled. Deal with anything that bugs you. This is your journey to inner freedom. Have as many conversations as you need.

Start with healing your wounds. Work on accepting your mistakes and moving forward. Ask for forgiveness, if you need to, and forgive others.

Each time you reflect on your life you’ll have a negative or positive charge. The main purpose of this exercise is to awaken you to the positives and allow you to determine the negatives by bringing them into your field of awareness so you can do something about them.

Happy discovery. What you will find is that you are amazing!